Dating advive

Felony charges that are not mine. (PA)

2020.11.09 18:58 AugustDarling Felony charges that are not mine. (PA)

I received a letter from the state (PA) department of revenue that sait the intercepted my tax refund due to fines I owe. Since I do not owe any fines I called the county clerk of courts as the letter suggested and was informed that I owe nearly $4,000 in fines for two felony (F3) charges from 2012. Here is the thing, the charges are under my name and birth date but the address is not and never has been mine. These are not my charges. The clerk seemed completely baffled and had no idea what to do. My question is what can I do? Where do I start? I can not afford an attorney and I can't afford to pay someone elses fines and carry their felonies. Please, any advive is appreciated.
submitted by AugustDarling to legaladvice [link] [comments]


2020.06.07 07:39 walker_stone dating advive for a teen ?

I'm not close with my parents and lack some type of father figure to talk to this about, I'm trying to get this girl to like me, any tips or ideas to really make her like me? (I'm 13)
submitted by walker_stone to Advice [link] [comments]


2020.04.10 15:29 DeYtHB COVID-19 Dating (Tips, Advive)

From this COVID19 there has appeared outside distance between people. I huge gap
Any tips or Advice of how can be practiced game (seduction), in such case like this one?
submitted by DeYtHB to seduction [link] [comments]


2020.03.19 22:04 uwuthrowaway1234 Boyfriend's Parents/Family

I wasn't sure where to put this but I need advive or just comments or something. This is also a throwaway account for now.
My boyfriend (20M) and I (20F) are both currently in college and dating long distance. I go visit him often but lately I have become uncomfortable visiting when his parents are there. I get really anxious to leave his room and often just feel really uncomfortable. I understand there are things that are out of my control and things that aren't my problems. But a lot of things about his parents and family bothers me. Mainly how they treat him. Also i dont know if this matters but his family is Hispanic. Whenever i bring things of concern up he says that's why his family is this way but i just dont think thats the Real reason but who am I to say.
Anyway, his father has a very good paying job as a doctor but his mother has currently been unemployed for about a year now due to medical reasons. My boyfriend and his brother work fulltime and are students full time.
Due to their mother being unemployed their mother even before she was unemployed was having them pay her $200-$300 from their paychecks each week even though their father is a doctor. Keep in mind my boyfriend does not make a lot at his job, maybe $300-$400 a week depending on tips etc. His parents are also always going on vacations overseas without them, telling them if they want to come they have to pay for themselves which they cant because they are always giving their money to their parents????
Recently my boyfriend's parents have decided to kick him off their insurance but not his brother who is the same age. Due to this my boyfriend didnt have insurance for awhile and even now pretty much doesnt as he could only qualify for an insurance that covers very little. My boyfriend also recently decided to invest in a car and has been saving forever. His father put him on their car insurance. But his father makes my boyfriend pay him almost $700 every other month for the car insurance which he barely meets as most of his paycheck always goes to his mother every week. Due to barely meeting it or if he doesnt his father then yells at him and says he owes him money constantly.
Another thing that makes me uncomfortable is that my boyfriend does EVERYTHING for his parents. I understand helping around the house and all but my boyfriend's parents literally make him clean, cook, care for the pets, do electrical and carpentry work and other things for them constantly like he's their slave. And they never ask his brother for help, ever. It just makes me upset for him because he is constantly stressing over money and always complaining about having to do things all the time and never getting time for himself.
We have discussed us moving in together when we both graduate and when he mentioned this to hia parents they freaked out and said he couldnt and were guilttripping him over it. Due to this any time i mention moving in together he doesnt want to discuss it or says we cant move out of the very expensive state he lives in because of his parents....
Overall there are just a lot of things that make me uncomfortable and thats just some of them. Im uncomfortable with the fact he pays his parents money weekly although his dad has a very well paying job, his parents treat him like their slave, brother is never asked to do anything and constantly verbally abusives my bf, they treat their dogs horribly (i have made a separate post about this before), his parents barely speak to me, just everything.....
I guess this is mainly venting but if anyone has advive or something to say you can comment. Im probably out of line with feeling uncomfortable with these things but i dont know i just needed to vent.....
submitted by uwuthrowaway1234 to Vent [link] [comments]


2019.11.26 14:46 JakeSBrigham1 How can I become better organized, and better with detailed orientated work?

I feel like one of the major stressors in my life is that im always forgetting due dates and important details for work (english teacher). I've always been quite disorganized even as a young child, as I was always forgetting things for school. Now im 25 and its much better, but still causes a lot of self-inflicted issues for me. I really have tried to be organized, with lists and calenders and keeping the house decluttered. Its not easy haha. Advive?
submitted by JakeSBrigham1 to selfimprovement [link] [comments]


2019.10.31 20:28 HekmatyarYure My sister is pregnant

TLDR at the bottom
So... Title says it all uh
I'm left feeling very... I don't even know how to describe it
Uneasy I guess
I didn't know where else to turn to for advive
My sister is 29, her age isn't really the issue, but she's never been the most mature person and she's been in many MANY relationships
By many I mean she started dating at 16, and ever since she has constantly been in relationships
Around the age of 20 she dated a guy for four and a half years and this has been her longest relationship, ever since, she would date a guy, realize they weren't a good fit, answer pms from guys she didn't know on facebook, find one she didn't hate, start dating him withing 24h of break up and the cycle would start all over again after realizing it's not working out within a couple of days
She's been with her current boyfriend for a year and they've broken up once in that timeframe
Also she lives with negative amounts of money in her bank account every month, she considers the deficit she's allowed her money as much as the actual money she gets from her wages
When she turned 18, our parents had saved up money on a bank account for her since birth (around 5k), and she used it all in a couple of months on a trip and 1k sunglasses, and other stuff I don't know about
She's admitted that she cannot see herself with the same person for her entire life and if she ever got married she'd know for a fact she'd eventually get divorced, thus I have a hard time considering her boyfriend family, or anyone that'll even still be there within a year of the birth
My family relies on me a lot for emotional and financial support, advices etc and when she irrevocably ends up a single mom, I fear she'll try to have me support more than I wish to (at this point, I don't wish to at all)
How do I cope emotionally through this? I need to accept it but I have a hard time doing so
TLDR: I feel that my sister is financially irresponsible and immature, her relationship started a year ago yet she is pregnant and I believe she will be single in the near future, I am left uneasy and unable to be fully supportive of her decision, I don't know how to proceed with handling my feelings in the matter while respecting the fact that I have no say in the matter and it's not my choice to make
submitted by HekmatyarYure to relationships [link] [comments]


2019.06.17 01:05 yorkmanman Should i break up with my girlfriend because of her family

Hi, i am 18 years old Ive been dating my girlfriend for about a year now, shes a very good person i like her alot but there is a problem thats making me not want to be with her and its her family. Her mom is about 36 years old with 3 kids a boy age 8 a girl age 2 and my girlfriend who is 17.Her mom is never home i and mean NEVER she always everywhere else but at home with her kids and this is daily. Therefore my girlfriend is left at babysitting 24/7 so we hardly have alone time. I honestly feel bad for them because they lack parental guidance. I honestly think her syblings are spoiled annoying brats her little sister literally cries when she doesn't get her way and thats every 15 mins i swear i cant deal with it no longer its so draining. I forgot to state that she lives across the street i can look out the window and see her house, but her mom does not let her do anything, she cant never come over and if she does come over shes sneaking in or im sneaking in i just feel like im too old to be sneaking in her house. I feel like im dating a 14 year old girl seriously. I don't want to hurt her feelings by breaking up with her but i just cant stand her family i need advive how would you go about this situation.
submitted by yorkmanman to u/yorkmanman [link] [comments]


2019.06.04 14:02 Jaguarfix Need advive on good dating apps for finding a girlfriend preferably in germany

submitted by Jaguarfix to teenagers [link] [comments]


2019.02.06 22:28 cantwaitformyfuture I broke up 2 weeks ago.... here is my story (Long read)

I posted this in another thread but have seen the support in this page and thought I would reach out here.
First of all let me say that I have been a lurker for a while and I have seen the support many people have gotten from the reddit community. I am hoping for the same. Although I know I am facing the other side of the coin too. And this is my first post. To maybe help save my identity some details are left out. But if any of my close friends reads this they will know who I am.
With that being said I need to paint a little bit of a picture. I have a good career that pays the bills and puts food on the table. I decided to join the Army Reserves April 2017 to better my life and possibly further my education. I already have my bachelor's.
I was previously in a relationship for a year...2015 to 2016. The relationship ended very badly. I am the type of person to never end a relationship even if it is toxic. After it ended, I thought I would be single for the rest of my life. Even though I thought the break up was mostly her fault.
I took the break up bad. But I dug deep and focused on myself. I got in the gym. I was in the best shape of my life. I was feeling good. A year went bye. Then I signed a 6 year contract for Uncle Sam in April of 2017.
A MONTH later I reach out to a cute girl on FB and took a chance. I said to her you look familiar. We had a bunch of mutual friends. Whatever it was, it worked. We hit it off so well. We liked to swing dance and that just made things even better. We made eachother so happy. Trips to the mountains in a log cabin. Things moced so fast. But so good.
I was very straight forward with her and told her in about 4 months I was leaving to basic training and AIT (individual training realted to my job in the military) for about 9 months. We took it day by day and as it got closer she decided I made her so happy that she was willing to wait for me until I got back. Trust was the most glooming issue... but in the middle of our first fight she gathered her bearings.. looked me in the eye and said "I am going to be the most loyal girlfriend ever!" At that very moment I knew I wanted her forever.
We wrote eachother while I was gone. Letters were so amazing to get and helped me through one of the toughest times I have ever had. She was my rock and she was so amazing. Then comes family day. The crowd is gathering in the auditorium. We are hiding back stage. After 3 months of screaming, yelling, exhaustion, I knew my gf was somewhere in the crowd waiting for me. Let let us loose... I lost it. I held my baby for the first time in 4 months and never wanted to let her go. I will never forget that moment.
The army sent me to training. I have my phone now, I can talk to her daily. Things are going great. I care about her so much. I make friends with the "older" more mature people at AIT. We just want to finish school and go home to our girls. We here stories of people having sex in the mountains. Having sex in the dumpster. Sneaking out of their windows and having sex. Cheating on loved ones. Me and the older crowd are in awe.
I come home for Christmas break. Surprise her, flowers gifts, I wanted to shower her and show her how much I care. I wanted to propose right then and there. We had a blast. I had to go back and we wouldnt see eachother for another 5 months
Then I make a mistake. There is an attractive girl. A flirt. I know she is trouble. I never ever do anything physical. We become friends. She acts likes she never will get a good guy to be with her. She always dates the assholes. I accept the games. We get a hotel room together with another guy friend and in my mind to me it is strictly to save money. She even invites a guy friend from another city to come party with her. Me and the other guy deny parting and fall asleep. I made a mistake and did not tell my gf the whole plan and she took it as I was hiding something. My first mistake.
I come home-----I need to mention I bought a house prior to meeting her. The house is about 45 minutes away from her place, nice big yard in a quite town. I knew that yard was meant for a dog of mine. (I lost my dog in my above mentioned break up over 2 years ago).
I come back April 2018. My heart is racing I love this woman so much. I want to get a dog. We don't see eye to eye about it cause she thinks we don't need the dog but she said if I do get one she will be supportive and help take care of him. I get a puppy. And man is he a puppy. But we do fine and he is not eating couches or anything, minimal accidents. My second mistake.
It is now June 2018 and her lease is coming to an end. We talk about her possibly moving in. We are beginning to argue a little more about stupid things. Her moving in becomes a no, a yes, a no. I then decide it was a good idea to tell her if she doesn't move in, it will ruin the relationship and it will beacuse she didn't move in. My third mistake.
She moves in. The above mention girl from AIT and I still talk because I thought she was a good friend. I then proceed to be an idiot and tell her she is beautiful, and I wish I had met her before we entered the military. I know so stupid very very stupid. I never thought myself, as a cheater, as a flirt. I thought I was the nice guy that is always going to finish last. Hold doors open for girls. Always pay for dinner. Roses for no reason.
My gf finds it out and she gets very upset. With every right to be because I just f***** up big time without knowing it. This puts a large crack in the relationship.
Well meanwhile while this is going on I am struggling with an addiction. Live porn. Pay for it porn. I know everytime I do it, I am such an idiot but I keep going back. My gf finds out and I lie about that. I try to hide it for months. Thinking it will go away. But she is smart. She knows I am lying. AND YET I CONTINUE TO LIE... I don't know why.
This just makes the crack even larger. And now I find out I am deploying. Crack gets bigger. I contiune lie about little things here and there. I go through her phone and tell her I didn't, even though all her notifications go away. I get a check from my family to help pay for a trip. I say it is less than what it was. She knew the total. I still continue to lie.
The cloud of the deployment is hovering over us. And now the situation is just aweful. Sex WAS amazing. Then I got out of shape. She lost attraction, rightfully so cause she takes such great care for her body.
It is now a disaster. I still can't get it through my head that I am losing her and need to do the small things right. When we have a difference of opinion, stop poking her and upsetting her. She felt trapped.... she moved in and I was an idiot and couldn't get it right.
Just this last week we get in a big fight. She threatened to hit me. She starts tearing pictures up that she bought. I pull out my camera and record it, not knowing if she will hit me. She hates that cause she thinks I am purposefully going ruin her career. It was a train wreck. She starts to hyperventilat, I caused her so much pain physically. She is over it. She packs up and moves out. Its over. Rightfully so. I hate her for doing it but know she had to.
I am hurt. But this is the first time I am hurt because I know this break up was single handedly my fault. I know that I am better than what I was the last 4 months. I know that it was so well in the beginning. We were it. She even explained that she never wanted kids before she met me, but explained that she was so happy with me she could see it. During the last fight she pointed at a gift she got me, with my last name on it, and said she can't stand seeing it because thought it would be her last name.
I guess I explained all this looking for advive, looking for criticism, looking for help. I am hit with waves of massive depression. I am hit with waves of rage. I am worried about this deployment. She was my rock and now she is gone. I hope I painted the picture that I messed up. I hope I panited the picture that I know what I did wrong. I made so many mistakes and she gave me so many chances.
I just don't know where to go. I can't get out of this deep hole like last time. I want her back. I want to fix this. I want one more chance to show her I can do right. I don't want anyone else.
What do I do? Thank you for your time.
Update- Since she has moved out I have been sleeping on friends air mattresses and hotels cause I can't go home. I have a therepy session scheduled Friday.
submitted by cantwaitformyfuture to BreakUps [link] [comments]


2019.02.04 04:12 cantwaitformyfuture I've hit rock bottom and know it is going to get worse..... long story if anybody wants a read

First of all let me say that I have been a lurker for a while and I have seen the support many people have gotten from the reddit community. I am hoping for the same. Although I know I am facing the other side of the coin too. And this is my first post. To maybe help save my identity some details are left out. But if any of my close friends reads this they will know who I am.
With that being said I need to paint a little bit of a picture. I have a good career that pays the bills and puts food on the table. I decided to join the Army Reserves April 2017 to better my life and possibly further my education. I already have my bachelor's.
I was previously in a relationship for a year...2015 to 2016. The relationship ended very badly. I am the type of person to never end a relationship even if it is toxic. After it ended, I thought I would be single for the rest of my life. Even though I thought the break up was mostly her fault.
I took the break up bad. But I dug deep and focused on myself. I got in the gym. I was in the best shape of my life. I was feeling good. A year went bye. Then I signed a 6 year contract for Uncle Sam in April of 2017.
A MONTH later I reach out to a cute girl on FB and took a chance. I said to her you look familiar. We had a bunch of mutual friends. Whatever it was, it worked. We hit it off so well. We liked to swing dance and that just made things even better. We made eachother so happy. Trips to the mountains in a log cabin. Things moced so fast. But so good.
I was very straight forward with her and told her in about 4 months I was leaving to basic training and AIT (individual training realted to my job in the military) for about 9 months. We took it day by day and as it got closer she decided I made her so happy that she was willing to wait for me until I got back. Trust was the most glooming issue... but in the middle of our first fight she gathered her bearings.. looked me in the eye and said "I am going to be the most loyal girlfriend ever!" At that very moment I knew I wanted her forever.
We wrote eachother while I was gone. Letters were so amazing to get and helped me through one of the toughest times I have ever had. She was my rock and she was so amazing. Then comes family day. The crowd is gathering in the auditorium. We are hiding back stage. After 3 months of screaming, yelling, exhaustion, I knew my gf was somewhere in the crowd waiting for me. Let let us loose... I lost it. I held my baby for the first time in 4 months and never wanted to let her go. I will never forget that moment.
The army sent me to training. I have my phone now, I can talk to her daily. Things are going great. I care about her so much. I make friends with the "older" more mature people at AIT. We just want to finish school and go home to our girls. We here stories of people having sex in the mountains. Having sex in the dumpster. Sneaking out of their windows and having sex. Cheating on loved ones. Me and the older crowd are in awe.
I come home for Christmas break. Surprise her, flowers gifts, I wanted to shower her and show her how much I care. I wanted to propose right then and there. We had a blast. I had to go back and we wouldnt see eachother for another 5 months
Then I make a mistake. There is an attractive girl. A flirt. I know she is trouble. I never ever do anything physical. We become friends. She acts likes she never will get a good guy to be with her. She always dates the assholes. I accept the games. We get a hotel room together with another guy friend and in my mind to me it is strictly to save money. She even invites a guy friend from another city to come party with her. Me and the other guy deny parting and fall asleep. I made a mistake and did not tell my gf the whole plan and she took it as I was hiding something. My first mistake.
I come home-----I need to mention I bought a house prior to meeting her. The house is about 45 minutes away from her place, nice big yard in a quite town. I knew that yard was meant for a dog of mine. (I lost my dog in my above mentioned break up over 2 years ago).
I come back April 2018. My heart is racing I love this woman so much. I want to get a dog. We don't see eye to eye about it cause she thinks we don't need the dog but she said if I do get one she will be supportive and help take care of him. I get a puppy. And man is he a puppy. But we do fine and he is not eating couches or anything, minimal accidents. My second mistake.
It is now June 2018 and her lease is coming to an end. We talk about her possibly moving in. We are beginning to argue a little more about stupid things. Her moving in becomes a no, a yes, a no. I then decide it was a good idea to tell her if she doesn't move in, it will ruin the relationship and it will beacuse she didn't move in. My third mistake.
She moves in. The above mention girl from AIT and I still talk because I thought she was a good friend. I then proceed to be an idiot and tell her she is beautiful, and I wish I had met her before we entered the military. I know so stupid very very stupid. I never thought myself, as a cheater, as a flirt. I thought I was the nice guy that is always going to finish last. Hold doors open for girls. Always pay for dinner. Roses for no reason.
My gf finds it out and she gets very upset. With every right to be because I just f***** up big time without knowing it. This puts a large crack in the relationship.
Well meanwhile while this is going on I am struggling with an addiction. Live porn. Pay for it porn. I know everytime I do it, I am such an idiot but I keep going back. My gf finds out and I lie about that. I try to hide it for months. Thinking it will go away. But she is smart. She knows I am lying. AND YET I CONTINUE TO LIE... I don't know why.
This just makes the crack even larger. And now I find out I am deploying. Crack gets bigger. I contiune lie about little things here and there. I go through her phone and tell her I didn't, even though all her notifications go away. I get a check from my family to help pay for a trip. I say it is less than what it was. She knew the total. I still continue to lie.
The cloud of the deployment is hovering over us. And now the situation is just aweful. Sex WAS amazing. Then I got out of shape. She lost attraction, rightfully so cause she takes such great care for her body.
It is now a disaster. I still can't get it through my head that I am losing her and need to do the small things right. When we have a difference of opinion, stop poking her and upsetting her. She felt trapped.... she moved in and I was an idiot and couldn't get it right.
Just this last week we get in a big fight. She threatened to hit me. She starts tearing pictures up that she bought. I pull out my camera and record it, not knowing if she will hit me. She hates that cause she thinks I am purposefully going ruin her career. It was a train wreck. She starts to hyperventilat, I caused her so much pain physically. She is over it. She packs up and moves out. Its over. Rightfully so. I hate her for doing it but know she had to.
I am hurt. But this is the first time I am hurt because I know this break up was single handedly my fault. I know that I am better than what I was the last 4 months. I know that it was so well in the beginning. We were it. She even explained that she never wanted kids before she met me, but explained that she was so happy with me she could see it. During the last fight she pointed at a gift she got me, with my last name on it, and said she can't stand seeing it because thought it would be her last name.
I guess I explained all this looking for advive, looking for criticism, looking for help. I am hit with waves of massive depression. I am hit with waves of rage. I am worried about this deployment. She was my rock and now she is gone. I hope I painted the picture that I messed up. I hope I panited the picture that I know what I did wrong. I made so many mistakes and she gave me so many chances.
I just don't know where to go. I can't get out of this deep hole like last time. I want her back. I want to fix this. I want one more chance to show her I can do right. I don't want anyone else.
What do I do? Thank you for your time.
submitted by cantwaitformyfuture to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2018.12.02 22:43 onewisdomtoothleft When I was 14, I was raped by a guy I met on the internet, it destroyed my life.

This is my story, what completely changed my life forever or "how I ruined my life at the age of fourteen." This is actually the story of a young naive sensitive girl suffering from anxiety. She's not to be blamed - and that is hard to write, for I still blame myself.
The upcoming story is from my most vivid and graphic memories, before I was borne stiff with all the medicine, before it became all messed up. I know that story by heart - every aspect of that man's guilt - and now I have to pour it all out :

It probably all started in 2010 when I was 13. I had been feeling alone, bullied at schooll as I was. There's internet at home - that's how I happened to discover a forum about my hobby.
Soon enough, I began to be surrounded with people with the same hobby, making new friends. After a while, I was incited to join the IRC chan - a group chat. I was fine with this, being "very" shy I didn't intend to talk with them viva voce. At first, it stressed me out, and yet I managed to become part of it and make new friends quite soon. You could find 13-year-old children as well as 25-year-old adults in the chat, so that it ended up nicknamed "the loli supermarket" (i.e. "the little girls supermarnet"). Some grown-ups there indeed tend to be hardly concealed paedophiles, they log in with the sole purpose of talking to little girls to obtain their favours.
I was only 14 though, I couldn't really understand it. I happened to belong to a small group of friend that incited me to join their Skype group chat. In that group, there was D, 20 yo. I began to feel comfortable with vocal chatting and spent every evening with them - they became part of my life. None the less, there was someone that stood against the rest. He was being more persistent with me - in short, D gave me attention. I received a text one day - I don't remember how he found out my number - everything accelerated, we texted each other everyday, even during class - I, for one, had always turned off my phone before going to school.
Long story short, we kept texting for months. We called each other with Skype. He was funny, kind, understanding, I didn't feel the discrepancy. I fell in love with him. I confessed to my IRL best friends, they were worried about it because of how old he is. I reassured them : I did know D, he wouldn't ever have done anything wrong to me. Novembre 23rd, the big day - he told me he had something to tell me. I immediately understood that he was about to confess to me. It stressed me out so much that I spent a whole hour in the shower, trying as best as I could to avoid the moment. At the end of the hour, I sat, logged in, he began to write a very long text ending with the afore-mentionned confession. I was scared, and yet I was over the moon.
We began to establish plans to see each other - he lived in the West South of France in Lyon, whereas I lived in the North. It was hard but we found something - he would come before Christmas in Lille (North of France), sleep in a hotel, and I would come by train to see him everyday.
He took his ticket, I had to find reasons to go to Lille to see him but I had something else in mind. I came to see my mother and told her point blank that I had a boyfriend who lived in Lyon. I told her lots of nice things about him. She looked at me : "how old is he ?". I didn't lie : "20". Shocked as she was, she didn't say a word. "He's coming to see me", I added, giving her the date. She told me she had to think about it.
During the waiting period before his visit, there is this "role play" thing. That night, he was trying to make me talk about sex with him, describing what he did, asking me to do so. I felt uncomfortable, embarrassed, but I didn't blame him.
The day he came, I was about to have a panic attack. I was about to see my boyfriend for the very first time - I was both ecstatic and terrified. My father picked him up at the subway, he stayed all week long with us at home because my parents thought it was better for him not to pay the hotel, he could sleep on the sofa and everything was fine.
We drove closer to where he was waiting. I jumped out of the car rofling myself in his arms, shaking all over. Once we came home, he was introduced to the whole family. Then, I went in my room with him. Things were getting weird, we hugged as best we could. Inside my head, there was some ambivalence - on one side, I felt most happy, on the other side there was this tiny voice yelling at me to flee. Perhaps it was my primary instinct, God knows what - in the end I made it hush again and again and again. We lay on my bed, my mother came in, thus we were not allowed to close the door to my room. She inquired whether he was atrracted by little girls of my age, he reassured her : he already had three girlfriends before me, they were all his age ! It was not until a long time that I learned this was all a lie. He never had a girlfriend before me.📷1📷
The first night, he kissed me, pressed hard against me. The night after, he incited me to french kiss him. The third day, he "woke me up" by taking off my pajamas top and ruffling my inexistent chest - I felt so embarrassed. My mother talked to me alone, asking me to go slowly with him, not to do have my very first sex now. I felt so ashamed, for I knew we had already been much further than we should have. I thought it was all my fault, but I agreed with her : "Of course not, Mom, I won't do it now, I don't want to."
The last day, everything happened real fast. Lying on my bed together with the door left ajar, I could here my mother take care of my 2-year-old sister right next to us. At this very moment, I felt his hand slide into my pants, inside my underwear. He began to toy with me. I felt I was about to faint, I was petrified, I said nothing. He inserted his fingers inside me, and it felt really really uncomfortable. I never wanted that. "Get the fuck out of here", shouted the tiny voice inside my head that seems to have some logic, contrary to my crippled body.
Once it was over though, I felt relieved : it was nothing but a bad moment to live through ? I was wrong : he did that thrice again that day, right under my parents' noses. He asked me to sneak out and come with him that night, and did it once again. It hurt, it was uncomfortable, I couldn't stand it any longer. And yet, I was ready to make sacrifices out of love for him - telling him I liked it for instance. I didn't want to disappoint him, I thought he did that for my own good, since I was supposed to feel "good things" according to what he said.
You might think I wouldn't have had wanted to see him ever again... The thing is I was blinded by my love for him and kept the memory of a wonderful week. The day he left I cried my eyes out, so much so that my mother began to cry too. After all, I didn't know when I was to see him again.
One would say it was ascendancy.
Then, everything went back to normal - the Skypes, the calls, the texts. We talked everyday, and everyday we talked about sex.
Sex and sex and sex and sex all over again,
everything was about sex. Just a reminder : I was 14.
He explained that I must caress him too, since I hadn't done anything last time. I felt guilty not to be confident enough whereas I should also have "done my bit".
Meanwhile, with my friends and school, I was slowly led astray from the perfect little girl I always had been. The next time I was to see D, I must also be capable of doing sexual things with him - that's what I convinced myself I wanted.
We saw each other again, and what was bound to happen happened : I took is dick inside my hands, I was ready to do anything for him. My brain is upside down from all this bullshit he told me I must do. He ask me for a blowjob, I oblige. "do not worry if you can't do it right the first time, you need a lot of training" It's ok, I'm a big girl now.
in my hand, I took his arm between my hands, began to caress him slowly. He admitted he wished he could content himself with that but couldn't make up his mind to, and that what we were doing was really wrong.
In short, he blew hot and cold, and it was really disturbing.
One of my IRL best friends had been with her boyfriend for almost 9 months. She discovered sex at the same time and took delight in telling me every detail. She is about to have sex for the first time, I was elating because I was too - he had been talking about it with me for months and I felt ready.
Truth is, at the time D would tell me how it was like with his so-called ex girlfriend, how they both lost their virginity at the age of 14, young and in love that they were. Nothing mattered, they were just somewhat young. The story echoed in me. It was such a thought-through story, how could I not believe it ? I began to think that losing one's virginity at the age of 14 was not forbidden. Whatever.
Meanwhile, I introduced this friend to D. Sometimes we happened to chat via Skype, joking and talking shamelessly about sex all the time, focusing on D guiding us. Anyway, he and I knew by then that the next time we were to see each other during winter break, we would have sex. I told my friends about it - some of them were very uncomfortable with the image I gave them of D, "What if he were actually dangerous? What if he just wanted to take your virginity and let you down right after?". I reassured them - it was not going to happen. At that time after all I completely trusted him, I believed he only wanted me to be happy, and he told me that having sex was the thing to do when you are in love.
Once at home, I already had to suck his dick. My mother knocked to ask us whether we wanted some soup, I muffled an answer, choking on it, whereas he was laughing really hard. None the less I began to feel nervous because I knew that after that night I would never be the same(good old myth of virginity !). We lay in my bed, watching a movie - I didn't watch it actually, since I knew what was coming next - then he began to touch me and I became tense. Of course it hurt me a great deal, I asked him to stop but he refused because it's normal that it hurt the first time, he, for one, was enjoying himself.
We were still naked in my bed when my father came pounding on the door. I got dressed with all due haste and opened the door. I felt ashamed, he understood immediately. You wonder what parents' normal response is in such case? For mine, it was to conclude there was no point forcing D to sleep on the couch downstairs anymore and that he could now sleep in my bed. We were thus most happy.
Starting then, each time he came, he would lead me to have sex with him. I didn't enjoy myself, it hurt everytime. To add insult to injury, I began to suffer from UTIs. I didn't want to admit that I didn't like sex at all because I thought it was a "bad moment to live through". Anyway I responded all his demands and let myself be pushed around.
One time he even begged me to drop the condom in order to feel more things. He was being so persistent that I yielded. Soon, I realised what a mistake it was and was terrified at the very thought of being pregnant at the age of 14. I came to see my mother and told her the condom had broken. After the mishap, I had to took birth control pills, and D couldn't have been happier.
Then, it was my birthday and my family went to England on holidays.
Lest I might be departed from D, I decided on staying at my grandmother's. That was when he decided to keep talking to me about anal sex. He wouldn't take no as an answer. He kept on asking again and again and again for whole days. I didn't yield, refused many a time.
We met each other again. After having sex, I pretended to faint to see what he would do to me. He turned me over, parted my ass cheeks, began licking, I was furious. He did know it was out of the question. We argued, but nothing would do, he never gave up on that because "you can't know before you try".
My life went on, and it became harder and harder as to the sexual part of it - it hurt more and more, and D never paid attention to it even though he told me he was sorry.
My gynecologist told me I had vaginismus (vaginal inflammation). I took medecine after that but nothing would - D will never be able to penetrate my vagina again.
After that, began a whole new chapter of my life - going to high school, growing up. D moved in my house, for he studied in the north. I did my "womanly duties" out of shame and guilt, sucking his dick on regular basis for example. Or letting him cum all over my body without budging even.
One night, he rubbed his dick so hard on me that it hurt, without understanding why I began to cry, he didn't notice. Ten minutes later, after relieving himself, he put me aside as if I were a mere object, I cried : "Why did you do that ? I feel raped." He was exaggeratedly begging for pardon.
Raped ? The word echoes strangely. To my mind - and everyone else at the time - rape meant a woman assaulted in a dark street, under the threat of a stranger's knife... Whatever, life went on, I kept following him. One day, everything changed suddenly.
Year 12, my first mania crisis followed by a growing depressive period, going to school was growing harder and I would skip more and more classes. And yet that year I had a lot of friends, very nice classmates, everything was fine, how did I end up this way ?
2014, September, I became unable to set foot at school. I saw many psychologists and psychiatrists - they were all looking for answers to understand my unwell being, vainly. I started to make the connection. I was 17, he lived in my house. It got to my nerves, I was disgusted by his appearance. I never felt anything when he touched me, he kept talking to me about the same subjects I couldn't stand. Fights, abuse, disgust. He told me he was attracted by my 14-year-old little sister, he asked my best friend to become his sex friend. He confessed me he fell in love with one of my fellow schoolmates. We were going to "celebrate" our forth year together. I was 17, and I became clear-sighted. It was all crystal clear now. I decided to break up with him. It went bad, he didn't want to admit that I didn't live him anymore, breaking up was hard but it was mandatory. One psychologist understood the roots of my illness, he practiced EDMR (i.e. desensitisation and reprocessing) on me for a year and listened to the memories I had to tell. Meanwhile, I tried to press charges against D. My parents did not know - they did know the anger, the shame I felt. I was good at concealing it so I can't really blame them. So I went to the police station to file a complaint - rape and corruption of a minor. The spiteful policewoman only noticed that I was nearly sexually of age (15 years old in France) when it happened - which was more or less true. A few months later, I received a letter telling me it was dismissed. It was written that it was a complaint filed against person unknown, which was obviously not true since I gave them his name, adress, phone number. I will never whether they read it at all.📷
What about D? He keeps dating underage (or barely of age) girls. I can still only witness that. Then why on one side do I want him to pay and on the other side am I still interested in what he's doing ?
He made me think for a long that I was also to be blamed, he will never understand the wrong he did to me and the impact it had on my life.
But still? Our relationship was not only that. It was also a lot of love, he was my first love, the long-distance relationship made me suffer through time so much that he came almost every other week to see me. He took care of me as best he could. He was also childlike grown-up who never knew what love was before we met.
I'll never know whether he was fully aware of what he was doing - when we started dating, he would ask me things like, "you're nothing without me, are you ?", he went back on his words later, telling me he was not conscious. Did he knowingly manipulate me ? Did he travel all the way only to rape a child ?
Every discussion I had with him about it since then remained pointless, he never really apologised - or they were never sincere. I wanted to conclude that story. Not to give a moral to the story, a solution or a piece of advive - "internet is dangerous", blah blah. Truth is, I can't conclude it as if it were a story with a real end. The only thing left, is a ton of unanswered questions.


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2017.10.23 07:24 mylona78 Trust issues and sexting

Hello there.i have been in a relationship for 2.5 years. We love each other but from the start she gave signs of jealousy. She didnt let me see my female friends or introduse them to her. Or when we where going to social places and naturaly i was looking around she was saying to me why are you staring that lady on many occasions. I said to her i not staring that lady because when i looked it was just a fraction of a second. I was going for coffee alone with the boys she didnt say anything but she was jealous.so we continued until 2 years when i didnt like her late messages when i was night duty. She didnt sleep before 1 o clock but when i was texting her she didnt respond giving the exuse i fell asleep ,i also followed her once to see if she was going to her female friend for visit but she went somewhere else. Nevertheless i hired a detective and i found out tha she was speaking on the phone with 4 of her friends friendly. At a point one of those guys arrange to go and see him at his house single he is for 3 hours eating and drinking and chatting together.at one point she will ask him if you like my company and he replied yes.so he tried to kiss her but she didnt respond. When i text her she said i am home watching tv. She went to 2 fortune tellers to make her change her mind about me.they influence her a lot i want get into details. They also met with another guy in a salt lake to chat without me knowing it. Their was a bloke a neibour of mine that he knew him from before this happened a week ago.sge started saying its been a long time to meet and ilthat i miss you .the other bloke said i always liked you.she refused at the begging sex but he invited her at his apartment. She refused and offered him to go to another town or seaside that nobody will see them doing stuff together.they arrange a date to meet but i couldn't stand the pressure so i told her i found everything about you.she refused offcourse and she gave a exuse that because he told her that she was a lesbian she wanted to take revenge of him and to set him up at the rantevou place.i dint believe it for a second. So i told her to split. Sorry if i confused you but please read this i need advive. She told me to give her a second chance but inside of me i cant
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2017.08.31 02:48 NowWhattianBogHog Child Support hearing sucked

I'm new to the sub, because I'm now thinking I need some advive.
We've (I'm the wife) been separated since December, I moved out of the family home in February. We have two young kids. I never asked for child support, even though he was making twice what I was. We tried to split daycare proportionally, but I ended up paying a lot more. I had some savings from life insurance from my Mom's passing, so it wasn't a hardship to pay. In June, he lost his job. He was given 22 weeks severence pay as a lump sum. It was supposed to support him until November. He's managed to spend most of it alreadty.
We've done all this without lawyers. Consulted a mediator a bit in the beginning.
We have 50/50 custody and rights.
He got a low-pay job for some extra cash that he started this week. More of a side job while he hunts for a better one. Well.... we had our hearing to establish child support today. They used that low hourly pay as his income. The original order of the magistrate was that I pay THE EX almost $200 a month. I definitely spoke up, mentioning the severence pay. I don't feel like I should be punished because he got a job that pays him less than half what he had been making, and has blown through what was supposed to support him until November. The magistrate judge managed to make the numbers work so it's $0 Child support, but it took a lot of fighting, and much crying, on my part. I'm now concerned that during our final hearing in December, he's going to pull the same stunt. I don't understand how he can possibly support the kids and himself on this pay. None of it makes any sense to me.
What's worse is that he had a smug face afterwards and said "well, I got what I want, I don't have to give you anything". I hadn't asked for anything in the past. I honestly don't want to deal with receiving any sort of support from him. I've even shared groceries with him recently. I purchase anything the kids need. I've lived frugally and minimistically since I moved out so I can provide the kids with what they need, trying to keep the same quality of life. I've bought school supplies, shoes, backpacks.
And as back info, I'm just about the most passive aggressive nice person you'll ever meet. I've tried really hard to make this go as smoothly as possible, agreeing to shared/joint rights and custody, even though it makes me sad not to see my daughter's half the time. Silly me was worried they'd screw him over with back-dated child support. In which case I'd ask them not to back date it. Cause I'm a reasonable human being.
Time for a lawyer? I just want this all to be over with. Quietly and simply. Now I'm not sure I trust the system.
Another quote "since I was nice enough to agree to $0, I hope you'll do the same when I get a higher paying job".
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2017.05.24 12:41 WednesdayAdams88 Never Initiates

New to Reddit. I'm 28f and dating 28m (exclusively for about 2months). He has never initiated sex with me. I've brought up how demoralizing that is for me, and w discussed it. Still nothing has changed. Advive?
submitted by WednesdayAdams88 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2017.03.04 09:27 Cidd2667 I (m23) started dating my ex again (f22)

Hey there guys! I need your help.
I (m23) recently started dating my ex (f22) again. We were together for around a year and she went to a university far away. It all went well, till after a few weeks, she decided to break up with me. The distance was to much for her, she just couldn't handle it. A few days later we met again, she asked if would want her back... I said no... because i am a dumbfuck and still felt heartbroken.
This all was like 3 years ago. We both had a partner in between, but both are single now. And recently we started texting again. Quite frequently to be honest, till I asked her out.
We met in our old bar, were we always have been together, and had a nice chat. We talked so long, that the person running the bar threw us out because it was to late. We then went for a walk for around 2hrs. Just talking and laughing.
The next day we instantly met again. For a short walk and a coffee.
Since we both have to head back to university (she's not on the old one anymore, she now visits a university way closer to our homecity), and the city where she studys is "on the way?" to the city were i study. So we decided that in 2 weeks, when we both go back home for the weekend, I'm gonna pick her up and we drive the last bit together.
So generally speaking, I don't know what to do. My feelings are all over the place. Maybe I should ask her out for dinner on the day I pick her up? We never had big issues in our relationship. In my opinion the breakup was soleöy because of the distance (that's also something she said). Also we're both 3 years older now and can maybe handle such things better?
I feel helpless.... Maybe some advive / own experiences to help me out decide?
tl;dr Dating ex again, broke up because of long distance because of university, distance isn't so big anymore, both are more mobile now, both had a realtionship in between, don't know how to handle this, should I date? Or not?
submitted by Cidd2667 to relationships [link] [comments]


2016.05.05 14:05 YlvaCD i did decide 12-13 yrs ago to start

living as a woman if not fulltime atleast and home and start dating men more than before and try to find the right one if there is one, my problem is that i only get perverted or unserious anwers on the time i had ads out in a site thats named bodycontact and that i noticed that they dont even read my add, just some short comment like, i wanna fkk u now where can we meet or something like that, it made me more and more suspicious , judgemental and i accept that love isnt for all, and maybe thats what i am a cheap sexobject in most peoples eyes that answer me, and rge way i lived out and did meet men in rl as i didnt know where to go i went to some streets and a park where men meet men and had sex with men for money , i didnt need the money but the "hooker" thing turned me on. i would newer to thgat again i was very naive with risks and thought even more naive i could find a nice bf somehow out there in that way, as a "tg/cd" they hunted me down almost crashed with eachother just get at me before else so i wasvery popular, and i liked in parts but i am more than just a sex "maniac" i live sex yes ireally do love being with top men , and i wish i could find a nice dating site thats free or cheap thats wellused and not about sex only or sexhunters only , and what about becoming a such hard to catch suspicious bitch lives not endless and i have never been single so long in my life and really feel im ready for a relation and i dont wanna be or try be in the norm as a straigt male more because i am who iam a there ill be even if ill be alone for life. any ideas or advive and tips on a site that i should check out is appriciated , hugs <3
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2013.05.16 08:46 reformedcountryboy Need advice.

Ladies and gents I (23/m) have recently started trying online dating but can't seem to get any hits... I'm actually an attractive guy with a great job. Friends and gfs past say im funny and charming and overall a sweet guy... yet I still cant find a gf. I know the stigma is not to look... but I'm inpatient... I guess what I'm asking for is help with advive for online dating or finding a girl in general. Suggestions or questions?
submitted by reformedcountryboy to dating_advice [link] [comments]